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White House Had to Read About it in an 'Unfettered Press'

By® Staff

Originally Posted

Life around® is so easy when others do our work for us.

Early this morning, host Greg Gutfeld of Fox News' "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" commented on the White House's official reaction to the Justice Department's secret seizure of two months' worth of Associated Press phone records.

Gutfeld said, "Hopefully, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney can add something to all the press reports."

Cut to a heavily edited montage of the beleaguered Press Secretary:

Thank goodness for press reports

- "[The President] found out about the news reports yesterday on the road."

- "Again, that we learned about from the press ..."

- "We have seen from the press reports, the information about attempts to seek phone records from the Associated Press."

- "Our information comes only from press reports on this."

- "You know, we have no knowledge, independently, of any attempt by the Justice Department to subpoena phone records of the Associated Press, beyond the press reports that we've read."

Is there no one to turn to?

Actually, we might have a bit more confidence in the White House if they were obtaining Executive Branch information from their Executive Branch agencies and officials, rather than from "news reports ... the press ... press reports ... press reports ... press reports."

Gutfeld continued: "Press reports, eh? Well, at least he can reassure us that the President believes the press should be unfettered in its pursuit of investigative journalism."

Wherewith, another unfettered Carney montage:

Unfettered journalism

- "The President is a strong defender of the First Amendment, and a firm believer in the need for the press to be unfettered."

- "We need the press to be able to be unfettered in its pursuit of investigative journalism ..."

- "... the press to be unfettered ..."

- "... the press to be able to pursue, unfettered, investigative journalism."

- "... an unfettered ability to pursue investigative journalism."

- "... an unfettered press."

- "... the need for reporters to be able to, in an unfettered way, pursue investigative journalism."

"... pursue, in an unfettered way, investigative journalism."

- "... and be unfettered in that pursuit."

Like the original Adventure game (the text version), we're not sure if we're in a "little twisty maze of passages" or a "little maze of twisty passages" or a "maze of little twisty passages."

It appears Jay Carney has exactly the same problem.

If you combine ill-used talking points and videotape, this job can be a bitch, can't it, Jay?

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